Part 1 can be found here.

You’ll notice in my definition for EI that I described it as a skill, this is because I believe everyone can work on their emotional intelligence. Of course, there are always people who have instinctive emotional intelligence. Perhaps you read the elements above and already practise all 5 attributes. 

But what’s to say if something unexpected is thrown your way?

As a Virtual Assistant I have worked on being adaptable and agile to my clients needs, it’s safe to say their have been challenging times for everyone I have worked for over the pandemic that, and this unfathomable time has forced me to go back to the root of practising emotional intelligence. Here’s a few ways you can too…

1. Self Awareness

 ‘’How am I doing right now?’’

Ask yourself this question three times a day- I use breakfast, lunch and dinner!

This simple question allows you quietly connect with yourself. From this simple question you can work out and understand if you need to do anything differently today than usual. 

If you find yourself skipping a meal time, no sweat, do the same task whilst brushing your teeth in the morning and night.

1. Self Regulation
   
   Walk away. 

When you receive the email, the call, or even the face-to-face confrontation, ask yourself the following..

Do they need an immediate response? If the answer is no, write out what you want to say in the moment, and come back to that email/text/note the next day- if you would still say what you wanted to in the heat of the moment, sure- send away! But often you’ll find giving yourself space and time allows you to respond with a more level-head and open mind. 

What if your response has to be in the moment?

Delay. If someone requires an answer to something in the moment, simply reply with ‘’I really appreciate you sharing this, I will get back to you in 30 minutes with my repsonse’’

After that, do something different. Take a quick shower, do some star jumps, make a cup of tea. But be sure to take a beat and think about your response to ensure the best possible outcome for everyone involved.

• Empathy

Pass on the note.

Perhaps your colleague is strung out with deadlines, or your friend is going through a turbulent breakup, in those moments, it’s the little things that can have a huge impact. With this in mind, my task for you is to write a small note of appreciation to that colleague, friend or family member.

Whether it’s an email, post-stick note or text, whatever form works for you, be sure to make them realise that you see them, hear them and support them.

• Motivation

Decide on a goal for each day. 

Every morning, before the working day begins, set one goal for the day. It can be as simple as ‘drink more water’ or ‘ask how everyone’s weekend was in the office’ or perhaps more specific to your work tasks ‘Arrange a check-in call with ‘X’ amount of my clients’.

A simple goal, gives each day purpose, and keeps you motivated.

• Social Skills

Ask people what they need.

It may seem obvious, but asking your friends, family members or in my case as a Virtual Assistant, my clients, what they need from me, is a simple and effective way to directly get the root of solving the problem. 

Finding this out not only improves your understanding of the person, but allows you to connect with them on a more genuine and specific circumstance.

Summary

I find Emotional Intelligence truly fascinating, and being a Virtual Assistant has meant that I have had to use and work on all 5 components. And just like the work for my clients keeps on evolving and growing, so will my journey with Emotional Intelligence, I hope this inspires yours as well. 

Oliver 

P.S  After reading this, perhaps you’ve realised that to improve your Emotional intelligence is to create more time to work on the areas of your business that you really care about. This is where I come in. As a Virtual Assistant my role is to reduce the time you spend on business aspects that take-away from the core purpose of your company. Please contact me at oliver@olivergallen.com or olivergallen.com/contact/ to find out how I can help you.

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